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I've barely been gone dreaming
something's missing or is out of place. i feel like the semester has… 
28th-Nov-2007 11:56 pm
something's missing or is out of place.
i feel like the semester has flown by, scary huh? i don't know how i feel about that... in the last 2 weeks i have before it's all over, i have a major paper and presentation that i don't really care about and i really should, since it's probably my ENTIRE grade for the semester.
i'll probably have another paper for abuza's class (newly industrialized nations), which will most likely be about the racial complexities of malaysia
2 final exams which i'm sure i won't struggle with
and then i'm done...
but besides my scholastic life, my personal life is ... there aren't words to describe it.
i have no life outside school, sure i party, drink, laugh with my friends and have amazingly hilarious times, but there's something missing.
i wish there was something that i could look forward to and continue to work hard for it and in the end attain that, but there is no such thing.
i'm just here by myself.
this semester has been crazy
just when i think my life is just going to be calm, something always comes up that complicated that.... and for the first time in a long time, i welcomed that complication with open arms, like the idiot that i am.
why should i allow myself to welcome this complication?
why should i even allow this complication?
seriously, i don't know, i can't even behind to understand it.
so here i am, wanting things to happen and nothing is happening.
life just keeps rolling by and i feel that sometimes i'm stagnant, that i'm just waiting for something to pick me up and show me the way, but that isn't going to happen, because i have to show myself the right path for myself.
at this point, life in general is bothering me,
i've come to a point where i'm uncertain about my immediate future and i'm sorry, but I CANNOT allow myself to do that.
a year from now, i'll be finishing my first semester of senior year.... maybe i'm worrying to early on in the game, but that's what i do.

ok i'm done ranting
29th-Nov-2007 04:23 pm (UTC)
Your personal life is like something out of Laura en America!
1st-Dec-2007 09:13 am (UTC)
hello senorita laura used to rule my world
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